Innocence
by aka-blackswan
Summary: Irina POV Kashmir 1957 & 1981 angst
1. Prologue

Innocence  
  
Prologue  
  
**************** Russia - 1957 ****************  
  
The sun beats down warmly on a small secluded house, inside is a picture of happiness and love. Young Tatiana, plays enthusiastically with her doll, weaving a crown of flowers. Her baby brother naps contentedly clutching his prized stuffed bear and her mother works at preparing lunch, all the while smiling contentedly at the image of her two children.  
  
ÒMommy, can I go play outside?Ó inquires the young girl having run out of flowers.  
  
ÒSure sweetheart, but donÕt wander off, IÕll call you when lunch is readyÓ  
  
ÒYes mommyÓ says the child, a skip in her step as she leaves the house.  
  
She sits down on the warm grass by a patch of wild flowers and begins expertly intertwining them into her dolls hair.  
  
She does not notice the two men who watch her intently from the safety of the shadows.  
  
ÒIs that her?Ó one whispers to the other.  
  
ÒyesÓ replies the second shadowed figure pulling out a photograph of the girl and passing it to his partner.  
  
A tranquilizer dart is sent silently through the air, hitting the girl on the back of her neck. ItÕs poison works fast and within seconds she blacks out and falls limply to the ground dropping her doll beside her.  
  
The two hunters move fast to collect their prize then make their getaway.  
  
TatianaÕs doll is left behind in the grass, itÕs glass eyes staring unblinking into the void.  
  
No more than a minute later, her mother opens the door and calls for her daughter.  
  
ÒTatiana, lunch is ready.Ó  
  
There is no answer.  
  
She steps out into the front yard, scanning the landscape for her daughter.  
  
ÒTatiana!Ó she calls louder.  
  
Still she is greeted only by silence.   
  
She sees TatianaÕs doll laying discarded on the ground and instantly feels a her heart shatter with fear for her child.  
  
She screams once again, hoping to see her little girl running back towards her. But once again she is answered by silence. 


	2. Chapter1

Chapter One  
  
******************* Kashmir - 1981 ********************  
  
You can barely see me through the thick darkness.  
  
Sitting in the corner, a fractured soul.  
  
I shed invisible tears, cry silent sobs.  
  
Too many shattered memories to haunt my dreams, too many lies from too many lives.  
  
The truth always threatening to destroy me.  
  
I harden myself to the truth, create more lies to hold myself together.  
  
I remove one mask and adopt another.  
  
ItÕs all just a game of survival, kill or be killed. *******************************************  
  
ItÕs an odd sense of deja-vu that comes over me as they bring me in. Perhaps itÕs the drugs they injected me with to suppress my adrenaline and keep me from fighting back. I can barely keep myself awake, but I refuse to sleep. There is too much going on, too many events to play over in my head. Where did everything go wrong? I struggle to maintain consciousness, I do not trust them. I do not trust anyone.   
  
They drop me on the floor, I try to catch myself but find myself unable to hold my own weight. Whatever they injected me with must have been strong. I wonder how long before it wears off.  
  
Sleep is just so inviting. It tugs at my eyelids, forcing them closed against my will.  
  
**********************************************  
  
Fully refreshed, I awake. The drugs have worn off completely. I wonder how long IÕve been asleep. I stand and stretch, my muscles are stiff and cramped from sleeping on the unforgiving cement.   
  
My eyes scan the windowless cell. So this is Kashmir. The oh-so-dreaded Kashmir. The place they would warn us about. It all feels so long ago now, so distant. Everything does.  
  
This most be one of the isolation cells. It is completely enclosed, the door is solid steel, with a thin horizontal window that looks out into a bare hallway. With no windows, there is no way for me to know what time of day it is. It is rather disorienting.  
  
In the corner near the door there is a tray of food. It is cold and colorless, and no doubt drugged. I ponder whether or not to eat it. My stomach growls reminding me that IÕm hungry. If I donÕt ingest their sedatives willingly, they will most likely find a more forceful way to incapacitate me. I eat. The food is as tasteless as it is colorless, but it satisfies my hunger.  
  
IÕve never stepped foot in this place before and yet I remember it all, like a long forgotten dream, or nightmare in this case. Then again I think perhaps my mind plays tricks on me.  
  
I lean back against the wall and look up towards the camera high up in the corner. They are watching me. Probably observing my every action, analyzing them from some sort of evidence, some sort of proof, that IÕve betrayed them. Listening for me to call out their names in my sleep.  
  
Inside I burn with anger. I played their game. I killed Laura, destroyed the loving wife and mother. What more could I have given them, what more do they want? and yet I know exactly what they fear, they fear she is not dead, fear that Laura can not be so easily killed.  
  
To tell the truth, IÕm not even sure myself. I try to push her away, push away the thoughts of her daughter, her husband. My daughter. My husband.  
  
I begin to wonder if the lie I lived in for so long was really a lie. 


	3. chapter2

Chapter Two  
  
************* Russia-1957 ***************  
  
When Tatiana awakes from her drug induced slumber, her body is being dragged down a dark corridor. Her eyes flutter from side to side trying to take in her surroundings as her mind rushes to try and piece together what is happening. Her semiconscious body is then dropped on the hard cement floor of a small bare cell.  
  
ÒWhat do you think they will do to her?Ó asks one of the guards casually as he locks the door of her cell behind him.  
  
ÒDonÕt know and donÕt care, all I know is her father is a traitor.Ó says the second guard as they walked off, leaving Tatiana alone.  
  
The hardness of the cold floor becomes more and more apparent to Tatiana as she begins to fully regain her consciousness. She tries to sit up but a blinding headache tells her it would be best to stay still for the moment. It is dark except for the dim light that falls in patches from the small barred window towards the ceiling of her cell. The air tastes stale and itÕs lack of warmth chills Tatiana to the bone.  
  
ÒMommy?Ó she calls out softly in some blind hope that none of this is real and that any second her mother will come in and take her in her arms and tell her everything will be ok, that it is just a bad dream.  
  
But no comfort comes and the harshness of the reality starts to sink in. Lost and confused, Tatiana begins to cry. Tears well up in steady succession and fall unceremoniously to the ground until her eyes are burned and red and she can not cry anymore.  
  
****************************************  
  
TatianaÕs eyes open timidly to the light of the new day, not that much light could filter in through the small windows. A few weeks have passed since she had first been taken to her cell and yet still she awakes every morning expecting to be at home in bed, still thinking she will awake from this nightmare.  
  
Her stomach begins to growl loudly, they have fed her very little since bringing her here. Her legs are weak and she feels dizzy from lack of food. What little food she does get is most often rotten and it causes her stomach to turn and more then not she ends up throwing everything up.  
  
Using what little energy she has, Tatiana stands and walks slowly till she is under her window. It is too high for her to reach but none the less she tries to balance herself against the wall as she stands on the tips of her toes, trying to breathe in some fresh air and maybe even catch some warmth from the sunlight filtering through.  
  
She tries to imagine that she is outside, enjoying a picnic with her family. Birds sing sweet songs, the sky is a brilliant light blue, fluffy white clouds linger overhead forming into many different shapes from bunny rabbits to elephants. Her mother hums a lullaby and her baby brother giggles with delight. Everything is perfect, except for the fact that none of it is real.  
  
Tatiana hears a loud clanking noise behind her and she turns to see a guard opening the door to her cell, he is accompanied by a tall man with harsh features dressed in a dark suit, both men carry guns.   
  
Tatiana feels her insides burning with anger, she doesnÕt know who this man is or why he is here, but she does know he probably has something to do with her imprisonment. She forces herself to stand up straight and stare coldly back at him.  
  
ÒTell me little girl, do you understand why you are here?Ó He says, his face now inches away from hers.  
  
ÒNo.Ó  
  
ÒThen perhaps I should explain, you are here because your father is a very very bad man and you will stay here until......Ó  
  
ÒNo, heÕs not!Ó She interrupts  
  
ÒIÕm sorry, what did you say?Ó He asks in a threatening tone.  
  
ÒI said No, heÕs not! My father is a good man.Ó She replies, her voice clear and unafraid.  
  
ÒAre you calling me a liar?!Ó  
  
ÒYes, I am.Ó  
  
The man boils with rage, his fists clinch tightly and he stares at her. She stares back defiantly.  
  
ÒYour very sure of yourself for someone so young, I think it is time that someone taught you a lesson. I want her sent to Kashmir immediately!Ó he orders, turning to the guard.  
  
ÒBut Sir, sheÕs only six.Ó  
  
ÒAre you questioning my orders!Ó  
  
ÒNo, IÕll have her taken as soon as possible.Ó  
  
ÒGood!Ó  
  
With that, the two men leave. Tatiana continues to stand for a while , replaying what just happened in her head. She feels a strange sense of contentment having angered the man so much and yet she is also filled with a sense of dread as wherever they are going to send her next sounds a whole lot worse then where she already is. 


End file.
